Sorry for the time it took to get this story out. I hope you enjoy it and I recommend you read all previous parts to the story before you read this part to actually understand what is going on. Thank you.
Well, baby they're tumbling down
They say that you fall in love with somebody like your father. I always thought I wouldn’t, I hoped and prayed that maybe I wouldn’t be a part of the group. I was wrong. He comes in and already the room smells like hard liquor. I want to be angry, but it is too hard. I feel for him, I want him to be okay. “Where have you been?” I make my voice sound not accusing.
“Work.” His words are slurred to the point I can barely make out what he is saying. I know this isn’t true, his boss called me to ask why Gavin hadn’t come to for a week.
“Your boss called.” I say, wrapping my sweater around me tighter. “Asked where you were. He is going to fire you, you know?”
“Cant fire me, I make that team.”
“Gavin, honey, listen to me. We need your job to help pay the bills.”
“You don’t need anything that’s mine!” he yells. Gavin isn’t a quiet drunk. Or a laid back drunk. He moves closer to me and I try to reason with him. “Honey, I was just saying…”
“No! You were accusing me of lying again!” I step back, afraid of what might happen next. He could snap in an instant. That is what happens next.
“If you didn’t have me then what would you have? Nothing! You worthless….”
He pulls me close to him. I try to pull away, but it hurts too much. “Who would like you? I am your last hope you ugly disgusting thing.” He lets me go and i fall backwards. It isn't his fault, it is mine. He only tells the truth, I am worthless.
When I wake up from the nightmare I am sweating. God, what is wrong with me? How does my past continue to haunt me? I think it may be the revelation that Gavin is back in town, he isn’t suppose to see me. Its in the court order, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try. I try to stop worrying and get out of bed. I have to work today, a week since I hung out with Sam. Today he will be working with me. Just the two of us in that stupid bakery.
My heart is beating faster now, just the two of us! I look at myself in the mirror, stop it, I think. Stop it right now. But as per usual my body isn’t listening to my brain and now my stomach is twisting into a knot.
I walk downstairs and eat my breakfast quietly, Kylie was out at work until 3 am. She will probably be sleeping all day. After I eat my frosted flakes I take a shower and put on the suit. It used to be hard zipping up the back with all the layers of stuffing, but now I am a pro at pretending to be fat. I don’t even knock things over any more. I slip on a cute little outfit I picked out at the outlet mall on Sunday. Sam told me I could work in the back all day so I don’t need to wear the store apron. Feeling perkier then I have in the past two and a half weeks I straiten my hair and apply makeup to my pale face. I was opening the store late today because it was a holiday. I started up the oven and began to bake some woman’s wedding cake. I knew her husband would hate it but it seemed like she was the one who ran the show, not him. When I heard the chime of the bell an hour later I nearly dropped the fondant of the floor. Sam walked into the back and hung up his coat. He turned to me and his eyes widened, just a little, but enough to see he was surprised. “Wh-what are you making?” his voice cracked.
I laughed, “Finally hitting puberty, Sam?”
He scowled at me, making me laugh harder. “Well if we are going to make jokes then maybe I should try whatever it is you are making?” he crept closer to me.
“That makes no sense at all.” He tries to stick his pudgy fingers in the bowl. I pull it away just in time. “Hey this is for a customer! You know the people who help us get paid?”
“What flavor is it?” he doesn’t seem to know where to look, at me or at the fondant. Just him standing so close to me makes my heart speed up. I don’t know what is going on with me today. “White Chocolate, I haven’t been able to try it, it’s too sweet for me.”
“Oh come on,” he pleads. “Let me have some.”
“No.” I tell him once more. He takes this opportunity to swipe his finger into the bowl and take some of the fondant. I curse at him jokingly. “It’s perfect, Miss. Carson, truly delightful.” He bows and sees himself to the front.
We talk through the archway for a while, but when the hungry teenagers who don’t have school today come in Sam has to rush around to get what the customers need. After a while he asks me to help him in the front, even though I don’t have my apron.
For a while I rush around with him, accidentally bumping into him every so often. I work the rest of the afternoon and Sam comes in at 6 to tell me we are closing early.
“You looked nice today.” He says as he puts on his coat. My heart goes through a hoop. “Special occasion or something?” he asks me.
“Just a Friday.” I shrug and I have to turn around to make sure he doesn’t see my smile. I say goodbye and try to leave but he calls for me again. “Demi, do you, maybe, have dinner together some time, only if you want to.”
I smile at him. “My house, tomorrow? I make some pretty amazing dishes.”
“Oh, sure. See you then.”
I smile the whole way home.
Kylie won’t stop telling me that what I am doing is a mistake. I am embodying this person too much and not realizing that Sam and I can’t have a real relationship because the person he knows isn’t real. I tell her again and again that I don’t like him, she sees through me.
Two hours before Sam is set to arrive he texts me that Liam has no plans tonight, for the first time in weeks, and wants to know if he can come as well. I tell him that that is fine, Kylie will be home as well.
That pisses Kylie off because she has decided she hates Liam. When they arrive she goes to sulk in the living room while Sam and Liam watch me make Sushi. I had Kylie buy beer especially for Liam and he is already on his second bottle in half an hour.
When dinner is made Kylie comes in and sits with us begrudgingly. She looks at Liam with the upmost contempt. “I saw Gavin again today. Today it was for a liver transplant. Deserves everything he gets. I tried to convince his doctor to accidentally rupture his spleen but he wouldn’t do it.”
“Who is Gavin?” Liam asks, no one in particular. Kylie takes this as a great time to bash her least favorite person.
“A disgusting drunk Da-Demi use to go out with. When I walked in and heard him saying those things I wanted to-"
“Kylie! I don’t think that they want to hear about my downfalls in life.” I see Liam pushing his beer away and Sam trying to figure out if I had only recently broken up with him by looking for fresh bruises.
“Might as well know.” She says. “They are your friends.” She turns back to the boys, “I can't even describe how mad I was. How long have we been friends for? For him to lay a hand on her, call her those things. I wanted to have a go at him and see how he liked it." “Got a picture of this guy?” Liam asks. “If I see him I would kill him on the spot. I hate guys who abuse women.”
“But having one night stands is a different story right?” Kylie shoots at him.
I need to change the subject desperately. “Guess who I saw today, Kylie.” I don’t wait for her to respond. “Eric, Eric Shafter.”
“No way, oh my god, what does he look like these days.”
“Apparently he’s got a few kids. Wondered if I was still playing piano, wanted me to give his oldest lessons.”
“Eric brought Demi to prom, nicest guy ever. He had the funniest sense of humor, I don’t know how people didn’t like him.” Kylie tells the group.
“People didn’t like him because he had acne, glasses, buck teeth and a stutter. The jokes on them now.”
We eat in silence. Kylie moves back into the living room and turns on the television. The news story is about some shooting in a Canadian school. Liam moves in to watch. I clear the plates and begin to wash them in the sink. Sam comes next to me, “Why didn’t you ask for help?” “Nobody understands why I didn’t. I can’t even explain it, he made me feel worthless. I thought that nobody would care if I told them what was happening. I still hate it when men look at me, I think they are making fun of me, calling me stupid names. Probably are.” “I would never treat you that way.” His voice is low. He moves closer, I drop the plate into the sink and turn to him. His smells like spices and my heart races. I can see what is happening, his face moves closer to mine and I follow suit. Our lips press together and I feel something I haven’t felt in a year: fireworks. Reality hits me and I pull back. “Oh my god.” I whisper. It was so perfect, something you read about in books. He takes it the wrong way.
“I thought you…oh god…I didn’t mean to…I am going to talk to Liam.”
And he walked away, my eyes are filled with tears, because I think I love him. But he can never love me, not when the girl he knows is not the person I really am.
The Flip Side Chapter 3
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