Well, my little munchkins! It sure has been a long time since I saw you last! So much has happened since we last met, for instance, Brianna 'fell' off a cliff! It was very sad, but at least it meant I could copy her hairstyle! Not to worry, Lasquisha's still alive and still crazy! I have been very busy myself, the modelling contracts just don't stop coming! Don't ask about my reporting job, though.... That didn't work out....
"Good Morning Margo!" I said. She put down her book.
"Hello there! Lovely to meet you!" She replied.
"Oh how kind! Now, I have some questions to ask you before we begin!"
"Oh, about the book?"
"The book?" "Well, yes!" Margo started. "That's why I'm here, isn't it? So you can ask me about the book?"
"Oh of course, the book!" I had no idea what it was about!
"Did you like it?"
"Oh, gosh, yes! I loved it! It was... interesting!"
"Who was your favourite character?"
"Wow, mine too! What was your favourite part of the book?"
"Uh.... when the aliens invaded Paris?"
"Mine too! How strange! Anyway, what did you want to ask me?" "Right, well," I started. "The set is completely green."
"Oh, I love green!" Margo beamed.
"Oh, good! It's just that..." I stuttered.
"You can't go on set looking like that!"
"Why not?" Margo was obviously stunned.
"Because that shade of blue really clashes with green!"
"Well, I have nothing else to wear!
"Don't worry, we have something left over from our Oriental Pyjamas Segment on the Channel 6 Fashion Report last week!" To the show!
"Felicitations, hehe! I'm Felicity Éclair, and you're watching the Channel 6 News! Today we'll be interviewing a very special guest. Margo has just entered the bestsellers list with her new book. Tell us more, Margo!" "GRRRRRR!"
Blimey, Margo did not look very happy! In fact, she looked as though she could pounce! And she did! There was a lot of fighting, so it was a good thing that the Special Effects Supervisors put the Smoke Machine on to disguise it all! To put it in short, I won. By a mile! But the whole fracas was deemed too violent for TV, so it was cut off. Not to worry, soon one of the cameramen leaked it online and I won the "Best Fight" award at the Simmy Awards! However I soon lost my job and was left jobless - again! Three months after the whole incident, I was a whole new woman! Well, I had a new hairstyle and better dress sense. Apart from that I hadn't really changed at all. But I had a new agent! Some guy called Jack, don't really known that much about him. I was waiting outside his office complex to meet him. I didn't have an appointment, but I can get anywhere I want with my looks! It's always good, though, to have a backup plan, so I asked Lasquisha to come with me. 1 hour after we were supposed to storm the block she STILL hadn't turned up! Eventually I had to pass the time by making fun of any passers-by. Believe me, some of the sights I saw! Like there was this chick behind me, and she looked exactly like Lasquisha, only with blonde hair and an even worse sense of dress! But then it hit me - it WAS Lasquisha! "Hey Felizzle, how you doing?" Lasquisha beamed. I gaped.
"What the heck are you wearing?!" I screeched.
"Oh, you like? I was going for the Iggy Azalea look!"
"She's a rapper! You said I should dress like the musicians I listen to!"
"Yeah, when I said that I meant the musicians I listen to, because let's face it, your music taste is awful." *KNOCK KNOCK*
"Come in! Oh, it's you. I don't have you down for an appointment right now, Felicity." Jack frowned.
"Who cares? I'm your most famous, attractive, stunningly beautiful client! Surely you wouldn't want to be missing out on an opportunity to talk to me?" I fluttered my eyelashes.
"Actually I would, after all I've seen the drivel that pours out of your mouth." "Shhh! If you don't like what comes out of my mouth, then why don't you let my body do the talking?" I winked.
"I'm not some sleazy slimeball, Felicity, I respect women! I don't want you gyrating on my sofa!" Jack rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, why do you have a sofa in here anyway?"
"It's comfy! Anyway, that's not very relevant at this time! I would much appreciate you leaving right now!"
"Because I have another client coming soon,"
"In fact, that'll be her right now!" Jack got up and welcomed in some ghostly-pale girl. I'd never seen her before in my life, so why was he wasting his time with someone so unknown?
"Luna, welcome! So glad you could make it!" Jack OBVIOUSLY had a crush on her!
"Oh hello Jack, how are you?" Luna smiled. Ugh, why is everyone so polite these days?
"I'm very well, thank you, how are you?"
"Oh, I'm wonderful!"
"Now, you remember Felicity! Don't worry, she was just leaving."
"Oh, good to see you again, Felicity!"
What? I'd never met this person in my life! Now she's claiming she knows me? I couldn't hide my anger. Jack was giving up his time with me for time with HER? Okay, fine, it was literally his 30 minutes slot with her, but still! What's wrong with me?! I tried to play it cool with Luna, you know, show her that I'm top dog here!
"I'm sorry, do I know you?" I asked coldly.
"Well, yes. We met on the set of Dead Famous, remember?" Luna replied.
Darn! I'd been completely dissed by some hipster! I could just tell that this meeting wouldn't go well! Luna sat down beside me. I scooted over. I don't want to get hipster germs or something!
"So Luna, you say that you'd like to do some modelling?" Jack asked.
"Pfft!" I shouted. Silence and glares followed.
"Ignore her, Luna, she's just jealous!" Ooh, the cheek!
"Thank you, Jack! Um, yes, modelling has always been something I wanted to do. I hear you were looking for models?" Luna beamed. "Yes, I was! I still am, in fact! I'd love to take you on!" Jack winked at Luna.
"Ahem?! What about me? I'd make a great model! It'd be a real mistake not to hire me, after all, I'm uber famous and I'd boost your sales by a lot!" I begged.
"Felicity, as.... interesting as you are, you're just not very suitable for the style."
"I beg your pardon?! My style is extremely versatile! What style do you want me to model?"
"Well, I want LUNA to model a vintage collection. No offence, Felicity, but Luna can just pull off any look effortlessly." "Aaw, thank you, Jack!" Luna winked.
"You're welcome!" Jack winked back. "Now, Felicity. Because I'm a nice person I will take up your offer of being a model. You never know, you might be able to do as well as Luna!"
"Uh, thanks?" I was unsure whether that was a compliment or not.
"I'll see you both tomorrow at..."
"Oh, come in!"
Who could that be? Interrupting a meeting is so rude! "Oh, hey there! I was here to see my friend Felicity!"
LASQUISHA? Which shops did she go to?! She looked amazing! And that is NOT a good thing!
"Wow! Sorry, what's your name?" Jack gazed at Lasquisha.
"Oh, it's Lasquisha!" Lasquisha fluttered her eyelashes. Everyone flutters their eyelashes these days!
"Well, Lasquisha, have you ever considered being a model?"
"Really?! Mama always said I could be a model! Thank you so much....?"
"Jack! And this here is Luna, she's your new colleague! Right, we need to have a work meeting! Goodbye, Felicity!" "What?! But I am one of your models!" I wailed.
"Sorry, but I've just realised how similar you are to Luna. Luna and Lasquisha are essentially complete opposites but still manage to have a strong sense of class." said Jack.
"LASQUISHA?! CLASSY?! You're having a laugh!" I screeched. But Lasquisha was cunning -
"Oh dearest Felicity, how could you be so rude? Jack, would you mind if one perches upon your settee?" Lasquisha put on her best English accent.
"Of course you may! We really must get down to business - Felicity could you please just leave?"
I got up and went to the door. "Right, that's it! Lasquisha, I'm moving out!" I moaned.
"Where will you stay during your absence?" Lasquisha kept that accent!
"I'll go to my old friend Cat's house! She's a good friend! Unlike you you backstabbing old cow!" I don't know why but Felicity started crying after I said that!
"Felicity! How dare you! Just get out! I don't want scum like you in my office!"
I left (for real this time). I took one last glance and saw Luna comforting Lassie. How could she betray me like that?! I had to move on to bigger and better things, so I drove off to my old friend's house! *MEANWHILE*
Kiara and Nanami were sat talking to Cat. Hopefully saying nice things about me!
"So, did you hear about that absolute fishwife Felicity Éclair?" Nanami gossiped.
"Ooh, you mean the one who nearly married an old man for his money?" Kiara asked.
"Yeah, that's the one! I heard she's broke after that awful stint on the Channel 6 News!"
"Well, it's her fault for fighting that poor defenseless woman! She was supposed to be asking her about that wonderful book she wrote!"
"That book was pretty wonderful!"
"I know! Did you hear about that Cat?" "Not only did I watch it but I actually know Felicity from back in the day!" Cat giggled.
"No way!" Nanami gasped.
"Tell us more!"
"We met at school. She was one of the popular kids, never did very well at school. But she was ridiculed when everyone found out that she'd been bribing her history teacher for a better grade. We became friends but after finishing University we never really talked,"
"What the heck was that?" "Yoohoo! Cat! It's me Felicity!" I called from outside.
Cat quickly hurried outside.
"Oh my gosh it's you! It's really you!" "I thought you were dead!" Cat gasped.
"Well, if I am dead I sure am one hot zombie! Haha! Ha.. ha." My jokes don't always go down very well.
"Why are you here?"
"I just thought I'd come and stay for a bit! You know, for old time's sake!"
"Ugh, fine! But only because you're an old friend! And, Felicity? What the heck is that thing you're on?!" "Oh, the Duel?" I asked.
"The what now?" Cat was puzzled.
"I used to know some guy called Duel. He had bright pink hair, and this car reminded me of him."
"Is that a Porsche?! Wow, that car costs more than my house! Speaking of which, you might want to come inside!" As soon as I walked inside Kiara ran up and hugged me.
"Oh my gosh, you're Felicity Éclair! I've heard so much about you! It's so great to meet you!" Kiara beamed. "Uh, thanks. Who are you?" I peeled the girl off me.
"Oh, I'm Kiara. Nice to meet you!" Kiara grinned.
"Kiara, what have I said about hugging strangers?!" Cat facepalmed. "Hey, I'm Nanami. Don't worry, I'm not as clingy as Kiara! Pleasure to meet you!" Nanami smiled.
"Likewise. Cat, I'm tired! Where's my bedroom?" I snapped.
"I haven't had time to do it up for you, I'm afraid, so you'll have to sleep in it as it is." Cat smirked. My bedroom left a lot to be desired! Such as light! I think I saw a spider the size of a grapefruit crawl under the bed too! It was hot as well... I guess I'd have to sleep in my underwear! *THE NEXT DAY*
"Boy, Felicity really is hard work!" Nanami sighed.
"Yeah, I was hoping she'd be fun and friendly! Oh well, you can't have everything in life!" Kiara shrugged.
"I suppose you're right. Hey Cat, what's for breakfast?" "Waffles! To celebrate Felicity's arrival!" Cat exclaimed.
"Will she even eat waffles? She doesn't look like the kind of girl who eats." Kiara chuckled.
"Shh! She won't want to hear that!"
"Was that the door?" "Hehe, nothing I love more in the morning than a girl's rear!"
"Vincent, is that you?" Cat snapped.
"You know it baby!" Vincent winked. "Vincent, how many times?! Women are not objects! They are human beings, just like yourself!" Cat frowned.
"Uh Cat?" Nanami started. "I think you're forgetting something."
"What?" Cat asked.
"I'm not human!" Vincent growled. "I'm a vampire!"
"Oh of course! Well, still! My house, my rules! Respect women or you can leave! How are you managing to be out and about in the sunlight anyway?" Cat said.
"Right. Must be a high SPF! Oh, table everyone! I think the waffles are ready!" At that point I came downstairs.
"Cat, do you have any more toilet roll?" I asked.
"Uh, Felicity, we have company here!" Cat chuckled.
"Really? Who?!" "Vincent, he's over there."
"Oh no, he might see me in my underwear!" I puffed out my chest.
"Oh please, you probably feel fully clothed in your underwear!" "Oh great, I burned the waffles after spending all that extra time talking! Sorry guys, I guess we'll be having cookies for breakfast!" "Oh, Felicity! Get off the counter! People have to eat off that, you know! I would much appreciate you to respect my house! I would also appreciate it if you put on some nice clothes for the garden party later!" Cat groaned.
"We're having a garden party?" my eyes lit up!
"Yes we are! I'm supposed to be setting the table now!"
"Just go upstairs and put some clothes on!"
I slid off the counter and into the hallway - but an extremely sour surprise was waiting for me outside! The three witches themselves! Luna, Jack and Lasquisha all stood in front of me as if yesterday's fracas never happened! Does Jack known EVERYONE in this godforsaken town? How could Cat invite these idiots to the garden party? It's not like they're good looking!
"Lasquisha! What the heck are you doing here?" I screamed.
"Oh dearest Felicity, I was only accompanying my good chums Jack and Luna to the garden party hosted by Cat!" "Oh stop the posh act, girl! You're not even British!" I screeched.
"Felicity, why are we fighting?" Lasquisha's question really made me think.
"Well... because I'm jealous of you! You've suddenly turned prettier than me, more successful than me, and now you're more liked that me!"
"Felicity, nothing is uglier than jealousy! You know that I'm still your friend!"
"Even after the way I treated you?"
"That's what friends are for, eh?" "Lasquisha, you truly are the best friend in the whole world!" I hugged her.
"You just have to remember to be happy for your friends instead of jealous of them! Okay?" Lasquisha hugged me back.
"Of course honey!"
"Good! Now go put some clothes on, this is getting real weird!" Pretty soon the garden party was in full swing! It was a beautiful summer day and the smell of food was delicious! Lasquisha was talking to Cat about something.
"Yeah, they found his head 10 feet away from the body UNDERGROUND!" Lasquisha exclaimed.
"Wow. The Disney Channel really will show anything these days!" Cat gasped. "Hey Felicity? What are you looking at?"
"Oh nothing!" I gazed ahead at Vincent. They'll never know!
"Are you staring at Vincent?" How did they know?!
"Okay, maybe!" I sat down on the bench. "Do you think he likes me?"
"Well let's see. He's arrogant, narcissistic, self-obsessed, annoying, attractive but he knows it, probably evil, doesn't care about others, sees the opposite gender as toys.... You're perfect for each other!" Cat chuckled.
"You think so?" I giggled.
"Just keep an eye on him - it looks like he's getting friendly with Luna over there!" "WHAT?!" I screeched.
There they were! Luna was stealing the man I had a crush on! Can she not see me making eye contact with him! Pretty soon my foot will be making contact with her face! "That's it! Cat?" I growled.
"Yes?" she replied.
"Get me my car! Lasquisha?"
"What now, Felicity?" she asked.
"Get me the rope! We're going to get rid of Luna once and for all!"
Specs and the City: Episode 2
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