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Message in a Bottle- Chapter 6
Published Oct 3, 2013


Written By

Juzu

Storyteller
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-Message in a Bottle: Chapter 6-
~Anxiety~

Erin thought every day with Jasper is going to end up the same and usual happy day but with her good friend, Alex's confession. . . what will she do?

*Thank you for reading and to all CC artists!*

-Message in a Bottle: Chapter 6-
~Anxiety~

Erin thought every day with Jasper is going to end up the same and usual happy day but with her good friend, Alex's confession. . . what will she do?

*Thank you for reading and to all CC artists!*
“So, can I have him?”

My mind went blank and my heart beats fast. Why. . . am I feeling like, I wanted to faint?
****
“HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! KIDDING~!!”

Alex laughs out loud that people around us started to stare.

I felt a confused relief, a feeling when the adrenaline was left your system. I can feel my face go pale.
“OH, DUUUUDE! That face---is priceless! You like him!”

I was too shock to talk and she kept on laughing.
“Um, so. . . you like him or not?”

I whisper, still confused.

“UGH! DUH, sweetie. You know I hate men. I’m just testing you, curious ‘bout your reaction, and MAN! I’m not expecting THAT face.”

She exclaimed out loud and that’s when I’ve felt she was telling the truth.

“Alex! Stop teasing me, I thought what you said was true. . .”

“Aw, c’mon! You know that after my useless son of a cow, father left us to run away from his debts. . . I come to hate all men. Well, there are exceptions like the good guy Jasper, but my feelings would never exceed as friendship. Just thinking about that with him, ugh. Gross!”

I gaped at her. How can I forget that she’s a man hater?

Then, she faced me again with that teasing look.

“So… tell, me. . . you like him right?”
“Alex!”

I exclaimed, staring at her, wide-eyed, embarrassed; she will not going to let go about this, is she?
“Aww, don’t be a shy kitten. Tell me, you know that even though I’m loud, I’m never going to tell your secret.”

She whispers to me, her face getting closer.

“No---um, I don’t know what ‘like’.”

I wanted to lie at her but I’m not a good liar. I sigh.

“Well, I really don’t know, Alex. The idea of us, becoming more than friends just never crossed in my mind.”

I said timidly, my face blushing.

She nodded then crossed her arm.

“Hmm, but imagine a life without him? What do you feel?”
My heart aches in response. Why am I feeling like this?

“You know, It’ll be bad for me . . . not having him around.”

Alex knew that he’s not just my best friend, but my strength.

“Oh, okay. But think about this… what if, one day… He came home and introduced his girlfriend to you, what would you feel?”

My mind suddenly flashes the image of him and a random girl coming to the house and…

“And just a few months, maybe, they decided to get married… what would you feel? They would be lovey-dovey in front of you for the rest of your lives, well unless, if you decided to move out.”

She continues and the image was now clearer inside my head...

My legs trebled and Alex caught me.

“Whoa! Did my ‘scenario’ too much for you? I know you’re innocent when it comes to love and relationships but you need to face it before someone else does.”
She tells me while making me stand up
I have mixed feelings of confuse, hurt and anxiety.

Why am I feeling like this?

Why is has to be like this?

We’re best friends right?

‘But one day, he will have his own life. . .’

A voice came ringing in my ears.

I bit my lip upon realization.

I don’t want him to leave me… just thinking of us, being apart breaks my heart.

Why?

Why does it feel so. . . horrible?

Do I depend on him too much?

Am I being selfish, because I don’t want to let him go?

I don’t want any other girls take him away?
Am I being selfish?”

I whispered guiltily.

“Yeah you do, but not literally. If you love someone, more than being friends . . . you want him just for yourself. If you only see him as a friend, you should be happy if he finds someone. Hmn, I have another question, do you think of your self being together with someone else?”

Anxiety came over twice as strong and an uncomfortable disgusted feeling came over me.

I felt my face crumple.
“HAHAHAHA! It’s all written in your freckled face! You also don’t want any other guys to be with you, except Jazz. It means, you really WANT him. Not just to friendzoned him.”

She laughs her loud laugh and held my arm.

“I know, I have in no position to advice you about love life because my life motto is never get fooled by idiot guys . . . but as a friend of both of you, I am in the position to guide you to the right path. . .”

She taps my arm lightly, like giving me a nudge.
“. . . especially when I know, it was mutual. You better do it now or regret it tomorrow. If you don’t, one of these days, someone will surely take the chance."

"Worse, if the girl has the guts, she would most probably ask for your help because you are the closest person to him."
"As for Jasper, he’s a complete gentleman and from what I heard about him, he wanted to hold you carefully because you seem so fragile."

"He doesn't want to cause you any anxiety or feel like pushing you to do something. He’s waiting quietly because he can’t do the first move and you know why, he wanted you to make comfortable. He wanted to cherish you and doesn’t want to hurt you. Soooo…”

She took a deep breathe.
“…put the poor guy out of his misery. What I mean is, it’s your duty to get out from that fluffy comfort zone of yours and smack your chest like a man, go head-on with the lovey-dovey road. ‘Ya got me?”

She grins at me and the anxiety fades as I understood the situation.

Thinking deeply, what she said was true.

I also need to fight for something we should have.

Deep inside me, I kept on denying my feelings about Jasper because I am afraid he doesn’t feel the same way about me; That he just sees me as a responsibility or a good friend and if ever we have the mutual feelings, I’m afraid of change...

...will we be able to laugh together like we always does?
Realization came over me.

My biggest fear is to be rejected. That was the main reason why I’ve kept my feelings to the ends of my heart.
And after Alex had enlightened me, I think I should face it. . .

“I-Yeah-u… I---“

I blush.. say it, Erin!

“. . .I like him…”

I whisper shyly.


There! I've said it . . .
My heart is pounding fast.
“Just like?”

She grins and I laughed a chocking laugh and blushes.

“HAHAHAHA! Sorry, I’m just teasing. I know you’re embarrassed to tell the L-O-V-E word.”
Then her face suddenly got excited.

“GOODNESS! You admitted at last! So, are you going to face it like a man?!”

She exclaimed with a very funny redneck English accent. I laughed at her.
“Yes! Face it like a. . . MAN!”

I tried to imitate the redneck accent but with my formal RP British accent, it sounded so ridiculous.

We laughed together and Alex suddenly stopped laughing and nudges me.
“Here he comes. . .”

She whispered.

My heart jumped from my rib cage and. . . .

Seeing Jasper after the topic made me look at him in a different way…
something new.

My ears became hot.
“Hey, you two! Oh, too much sun?”

He smiled at me, misunderstanding my scarlet blush. . . Alex laughs her loud laugh and I gave her a warning amused look.

She raises her hand with her eyes big and gestures a ‘closing the zipper in my mouth’. I had to bit my lip to restrain myself from laughing and blushing more.
“Hmm? Did I miss something?”

Jasper’s eyebrows shot up with an amused curious look.

“Oh, you wouldn’t know---“

Then Alex clasps her mouth and laughs silently, with her shoulders shaking.

As much as I have a sweet personality, I wanted to kick her to shut up…

“Ohh... really?”
Jasper smirked at us and I panicked.
“Don’t mind her, she’s just being silly. Um, are we going home?”

I said, trying to change the topic. Jasper’s eyes flicked to mine and I felt my stomach twist.

Oh my, what is going on with my body?

“Uh, yeah. Just give me more minutes, I called Elvira and she’s already at the beach, we’re talking about something important.”

For the first time, I saw him smile his soft smile when talking to someone else another than his family.
Elvira is an acquaintance of us; she’s also working here at the resort as a steward.

Jasper is very friendly but I don’t think he’s close enough with Elvira to show that expression.

Plus, Elvira’s very obvious about her crush at him. She often asks me questions about Jasper.

Anxiety flooded through my chest.
What if, she confessed and---
“--right? Um, Erin?”

My painful imagination was blown away after I saw him wave his hand in my face.

“Oh, sorry. I-I’m kind of sleepy. What was that?”

I said with a force smile.

“Are you okay?”

He asked with his soft expression and concern voice. I am always touched when he shows that kind of expression to me but now. . . it reminded me of him, talking about some other girls. . . that face isn’t just for me now. . .

‘What are you thinking? Isn’t that being selfish?’

My mind mocked at me and I wanted to cry.

“Ah, no. Don’t mind me. It’s just the heat.” I said, looking anywhere than his face.

“. . .alright. See ya later, then. Rest a bit.”

He muttered unsure.
He touched my cheek gently but my heart is heavy, I unconsciously flinched. I didn’t look at him but I can feel his uneasiness.

I know it’s not right to do this but the anxiety inside me is pounding, I need to look at somewhere else or I’ll cry…

I just nodded and hear his footsteps going away. Alex was thoughtful enough to stay quiet and just touched my arm a bit for a supportive gesture.
After a few minutes, I’ve calmed down and was relaxed enough to smile.

I pushed away any negative thoughts and tried to think positive.

I shouldn’t assume like that. It’s rude to Jasper.

If they really are together, I need to accept it.
I should swallow every anxiety and suffer alone; it’s my fault if he was snatched away.

I had the chance but I didn’t do it because I’m a coward.

I sigh.
'Yeah, be strong . . . Erin!'
After our shifts, Alex came to me and accompanied me to go to Jasper. I hope everything would be fine…
Then, I saw him with Elvira and he’s…
Holding her hand. . .



'If ever they we’re together, I need to accept it.'



My mind reminded me about my decision but I kept on staring at them with hurt as they’re laughing together. . .
Jasper saw us and came immediately towards us, smiling.

“What’s about Elvira?”

Alex asked frowning.

“Well, we talked about something. And, well . . . she confessed to me. I’m so shocked.”

Jasper chuckles and I felt like my blood became cold. My hand clenches because of pain. I guessed it right? She confessed. . .
.
.
.

'I should swallow every anxiety and suffer alone; it’s my fault if he was snatched away.'

My subconscious continues to repeat my words and my heart starts falling apart.
My feet moved itself and my body turns back, before I know it, I’m running. . .



'I had the chance but I didn’t do it----'



My mind whispers at me with full of mockery, even the wind mocks me.
Then suddenly, it screamed the last 4 words…
‘----because I’m a coward.’
Message in a bottle: Chapter 6 -end-

Whenever you feel confused and hurt, most of the time, you can't think straight, anxiety will take over your heart.
Will Erin overcome her fears and worries?

Stay tuned.

Thank you for reading!
-Juzu :)

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6 Comment(s) so far


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#1FiyaaOct 4, 2013

Oh yeah! First to comment!\:D Wow, you really know how to make me more eager to wait for the next!\:wub\: I hope Jasper feel the same way bout Erin. Btw, amazing chapter as usual. Love it! \:wub\:\:rah\:

#2NisukiOct 4, 2013

Nooooooooo-hoooooooo! Erin go back, you coward! GRRR \:P Jasper, you better do the right thing.. ! \:eek\: Excellent chapter. Can't wait to see what happens next ^__^ \:wub\:

#3Katherine1091VIPOct 5, 2013

What a great chapter! \:wub\: \:rah\: Oh I think this girl said something else but that she loves him. Or rather I hope so! \:D
You have no idea how excited I am!!! Can't waaaiiiiiiit \:wub\:

#4kyoukaisenjoOct 5, 2013

\:wub\: that's the cute girl...
can i make it?

#5MarijaJOct 5, 2013

You don't need to accept it, Eriiiin don't be a coward you cmgkfgifj coward! \:mad\: I hope Jasper isn't in love with Elvira, she's not even pretty hahaha xD
Waiting for the next chapter \:wub\:

#6Bby-LOct 6, 2013

Need to know what happened next XD
Hope you'll drop it soon. ♥
Liked it ♥

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