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Ghostly vision 2.
Published Nov 24, 2009


Written By

luckyoyo

Storyteller
22226Views4.9Rating

Page 1 / 38

I would like to thank everyone who read and commented on the first part of this story, the georgian house (Georgian House), Simons house (6 Riverview) and Dawns house (2 Riverview Place), Dawn (created as Mary Right) and Simon (created as Simon James) were all made by me and you can find them all on my web page, Thank you for taking the time to read it, I hope you enjoy it.

I would like to thank everyone who read and commented on the first part of this story, the georgian house (Georgian House), Simons house (6 Riverview) and Dawns house (2 Riverview Place), Dawn (created as Mary Right) and Simon (created as Simon James) were all made by me and you can find them all on my web page, Thank you for taking the time to read it, I hope you enjoy it. Everything suddenly went blurry Dawn blinked a few times but it didn't clear, then she felt as if someone was pulling her down as she felt herself hit the ground. Then floating in darkness she wondered if she'd fainted, she felt her head spinning as if she was drunk, she could feel the hard earth on one side of her body so she knew she hadn't fainted she tried to move but she couldn't, what's happening to me? was the last thing Dawn remembered thinking, then nothing as if someone had knocked her out. The next thing she knew she was laying on some grass. Dawn stood up looking around her, the road was different, dusty looking, Dawn was puzzled. To the side of her was an old house, she felt strange like she was in a different world or something. The sky looked pink but dark at the same time, but it appeared to be daylight. The air smelt sooty, she coughed as she breathed in. Where am I thought Dawn as she noticed there were no cars and no traffic in fact no noise at all. She turned to the house which was now in front of her, what was going on thought Dawn, she needed help maybe the people who lived in the house could help her. She walked up to the garden gate, put her hand out and pushed the gate open, it squeaked and groaned as if it hadn't been opened in a long time. She stepped through and closed the gate behind her the noise sounded loud in the silence. She walked up to the front door, her shoes squelching in the muddy path. When she got to the door she paused for a few seconds then knocked, quietly at first, then louder when no one answered. Suddenly the door opened slightly, it wasn't locked, she pushed the door open, surprised it wasn't locked. She stepped through the doorway and closed the door behind her with a thud, she almost felt like she was trespassing.
She stood in the hallway and looked around, it smelt of wood smoke and Laundry. There were two doorways opposite each other off the hallway, one room looked like a drawing room and the other was a kitchen.
Dawn walked towards the staircase, her shoes making a tapping sound across the wooden floor, when she got to the stairs she looked up noticing a closed door at the top of the stairs on the right, she somehow knew there would be someone inside that room. She took a deep breath and let it out as she climbed the stairs, they creaked as she walked up them. When she got to the door she put her hand on the door knob and turned it opening the door slowly, the hinges creaking. "Hello?" she said, she knew it was a child's room as soon as she pushed the door open because there was a teddy bear on the floor next to a window. As she opened the door further she could hear sobbing coming from the room. As the door opened fully she felt sadness envelop her and shivered as a cold draught blew past her. She stood at the doorway watching a man and woman hugging and crying, they were dressed in what looked like victorian clothing, she looked beyond them and could see a small child lying in a bed. Dawn knew instantly that they were the child's parents, she felt her heart give a tight squeeze as she watched. They hadn't noticed her yet. too wrapped up in their misery. The room seemed to stretch then return to normal as she found herself standing next to the sleeping child,
it was a small boy he looked very ill, his skin a very pale colour.
He looked just like the ghost child she'd seen, shock made her gasp out loud and step back, she put her hand to her mouth to quieten the sound. As if the boy had heard the sound he opened his eyes and looked straight at her, "Mummy," he whispered as his final breath left his body. The father heard the sound and turned to his son, "it's over Ellie," "No!" cried out the mother as she rushed to her son's now limp body. Blackness, Dawn could feel the cold earth on one side of her body again, she opened her eyes and looked around. Dawn was lying on the ground back in the graveyard, what the hell just happened to me thought Dawn as she sat up feeling dizzy. She got to her feet and brushed off the grass and dirt, she must have fainted, what other explanation could there be. She didn't know how long she'd been out for, she quickly got a pen and pad out of her pocket, she always kept them on her in case she needed them for something, and wrote the name on the headstone down, then turned and walked quickly out of the graveyard, her head swimming but she didn't want to linger there. When she got to Simon's house she opened the door, Simon was making dinner, the room smelled of salmon. It was good that Simon hadn't left a mess for her to clear up, she wasn't in any mood to tidy up after him, every night since she'd lived there she'd had to clear up after him. He wanted a servant not a tenant thought Dawn as she rushed past him towards the stairs not wanting to have another disagreement with him, she only paused to say, "I'm not hungry". "I didn't make dinner for you...I've got a date," snapped Simon, "oh!" said Dawn in surprise, so that was why the kitchen was so clean thought Dawn. "I'll be in my room all night" Dawn snapped back as she hurried up the stairs, she wanted to try and get a good nights sleep ready for tomorrow. The next day.
Dawn had only 6 days to go on her Lease, she'd been looking forward to viewing the houses as she couldn't wait to get out of Simons house. She'd viewed several houses throughout the day but couldn't find what she was looking for. She had one more house to look at, as she drove up to the house she had a good feeling about it, she hoped her feeling was right.
She got out the car and walked to the door, the estate agent hadn't arrived yet so she waited outside. While she waited she looked through the windows of the house. From what she could see, it looked like a nice house, the rooms looked big, although she didn't like the look of the wallpaper, but she could easily change that. The estate agent turned up five minutes later and showed her around, Dawn loved the place, the estate agent was pleased. "I'll speak to the owner and put in the offer" he said. "The sooner I can move in the better," said Dawn. Things had moved quickly from then on, she'd started her new job in Sunset Valley, the offer was accepted and she moved into her new house in 6 days. By the time the removal men had gone she was exhausted, there was furniture and boxes everywhere. She'd put most of her stuff in to storage while she was renting, the room looked a mess and Dawn was tired, it had been a long day so she decided to sort the stuff out tomorrow and get some sleep. Later that night Dawn woke to a noise in her room, she opened her eyes and saw something in the corner of her eye. Dawn sat up scared to look, she got out of bed and took a deep breath. She turned around and saw a ghost woman in her room, there was no smell but there was a draught which made Dawn shiver as the room turned cold. What the hell is going on thought Dawn as she stood there, first a boy and now a woman, she thought it would stop once she'd left Simons house. "What do you want?" asked Dawn, "Help me," said the ghost woman, a freezing cold draught seemed to surround her as she'd said it, "Help you with what?" Dawn asked. In a blink of an eye the woman had vanished. Dawn couldn't sleep after that, she turned the central heating on fully and went downstairs to made herself a hot drink as she felt chilled to the bone. As she sat in the lounge she could hear creaking, she knew it was the central heating but seeing the woman ghost had made her jumpy, she tried to think of something else to take her mind off what had happened. She looked around the lounge at all the stuff she'd collected over the years from her marriage to Ray, 15 years she wasted on that man, she was getting over him slowly but sitting there looking at some of there stuff brought back memories. She needed to buy some new items, but this ghost business would have to be sorted out first, she couldn't keep having spirits come into her house whenever they felt like it. The next day Dawn went to the office, she only lived a few minutes away from work so she walked to work everyday. As she approached her office she decided it was time to try and find out about the name on the gravestone. As Dawn got closer to work she could see people working in the other offices, her office was on the top floor and there wasn't a lift. When she got to the top she was out of breath, she needed to lose some weight and going up four flights of stairs everyday should help thought Dawn. She opened the door into her new office, phones were ringing and people were talking, the place had only been open a few days but business was good. Dawn sat at her desk and turned on her computer she typed in the name Peter Burrows and waited. A Georgian house popped up, Dawn was a little nervous as she clicked on a bigger picture of the house. There it was, the house and the name of the family that had lived there, Ellie and Edward Burrows. Dawn's eyes widened as she sat there mesmerized by the picture, she remembered the man had said Ellie. Dawn was glad she was sitting down because she probably would have fainted as the realization hit her,... she had actually been in that house!

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21 Comment(s) so far


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#12martoeleNov 26, 2009

First of all, congratulation for having reached the frontpage. \:cool\:  Congratulations as well on this story. It really is well thought over. \:rah\:  I hope you will upload the next chapter soon .. \:\) Margo.

#13eviNov 26, 2009

Great again! Thank you!\:rah\:

#14tonya99rnNov 27, 2009

Another great job!!\;\)

#15Little SeerNov 27, 2009

Waiting for more.  Very well done.  Cheers! \:\)

#16StoryNov 28, 2009

Very interesting, myserious, it draws you in. \:rah\: Great work, luckyoyo.
 

#17drewsolteszNov 28, 2009

Very well done, enjoyable read to be sure! Cheers!

#18EnthroxDec 2, 2009

Great great great story. One of the best I've read.

#19DragonQueenDec 4, 2009

Wow!  What a \:cool\: chapter!  I am so looking forward to reading what happens next!  \:rah\:

#20topaz27Dec 4, 2009

Brillant chapter, I love this so much, great pictures too \:rah\: \:wub\:

#21Jan 2, 2011

a lot like ghost whisper great story!

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